SUGAR SUCCESS

Sugar success...


Ok my sugar challenge as well as my food challenges came full force last week.

We went to Vegas, a week of massive inspirational conferences, speakers and teachers. I was the
only one apparently that brings their food planned and ready for Vegas lol. Or at least the only one I saw. I spent breaks in our room with my own lunch while everyone went out.

I don't drink alcohol much, none at all in months and  before that it was rare. The sugar usually would end up nesting in a migraine and I would feel awful.

No deserts, no going out to eat and taking chances food would be filled with things I can't have.

We had a cooler in the room with a plug in and I made it all ahead of time and stayed on track. I didnt however stay on track with exercise other than the walking from the room to the conference area, dodging the casino areas because of smoke. Vegas is not a place for this girl to hang out. lol

Thanksgiving just went by and no dessert and my dinner was my own homemade squash meal and tea and I actually gave myself a treat and had a bit of raw honey in it to see how I would react. I drank two cups lol. I really didn't crave it and did just fine with two teaspoons over all.

So success, getting off sugar has been an amazing experience. I don't crave it anymore and I feel like I can treat myself now and then with some raw honey without feeling like... I HAVE TO HAVE IT!

SUCCESS!!!

I found a solution in Pink"

I found a solution in Pink....

        I never ate Salt and especially NOT table salt.. I could go on and on how bad that is for you , not to mention it creates such swelling , my kids call it ,"sausage fingers and toes."

        The pain salt gave me just wasn't worth using it. Until I landed in the hospital with a bad case of heat exhaust and my heart rate was so low the doctors ran me through all kinds of tests. I am an athlete and I have worked out my whole life so low isn't really  uncommon for my lifestyle.

        What they told me is that I need to eat more salt, oh no I thought, I don't want to feel all puffy and salt wasn't my choice of taste, sugar was.

          So my very wise mother told me I needed to put PINK HIMALAYAN salt in my diet daily, even if it was to add to water and drink it. I needed for many reasons. I started researching and found just amazing information on Pink Himalayan salt and was convinced I could try it.

      You can google benefits to Pink Himalayan salt, its amazing!

        I started with just a few granules and then let it dissolve in water and chug, then I started to cook with , eat it plain (just a granule when I felt my heart rate was so low I couldn't move). It helped with that and it gave me something of a switch from being so connected to sugar.

        I never feel like sausage fingers or toes, it taste amazing and the benefits are amazing as well. Now don't over do it , but surely you can start to create new things to replace sweet and this is a great solution that worked for me. Its not for everyone and if you have high blood pressure or heart issues surely take it past a naturopath or your Dr. to see if its right for you.

         I know that the body when ingesting sugar and salt will trick your body into thinking its hungry when its not. So I never wanted to mix the two. If I was going to have salt , I was NOT going to have sugar too.

        So the switch began, believe it or not now I eat my pancakes with an avocado and salt and pepper. No syrup at all. I make my pancakes with eggs and pumpkin and coconut and then its an amazing meal with nutrition , no sugar and full of fiber and goodness. I don't miss sugar at all, as a matter of fact, the little things like coconut aminos I used to use with cooking (a coconut substitute for soy sauce)now I cant even eat it because it taste too sweet. I literally do NOT eat any sugar AT ALL of any form.


         Another key to my recovery over sugar.  I WON and the solution to help was IN PINK , who would of guessed.

I NEVER THOUGHT THAT WOULD HAPPEN!

I NEVER thought in a million years I literally would not like the taste of sugar.. AT ALL.. 

How can this happen?

I have been a sugar addict my whole life. 

My mother would forbid me to have sugar because of how I acted and I would do anything to get it. 

I would make anything and sell it door to door just to have money to get to the little store. I would buy cookie dough and hide it . I bought boxes of nilla wafers,( do you remember those) sweet tarts, snickers bars, peanut butter and not the good kind.  The list goes on and on.

I would eat until I was so full it was hard to breathe or move. I stuffed my pain, and controlled every bite by rebellion to eat what I was told NOT TO. 

This drove me into a whirlwind of binging and other things that just didnt do my internal body any good at all, not to mention my mind and emotional journey through life. 

Its taken me years to get to this place I knew I had to get off sugar in order to grow my life to where I want it to be, personally, business and emotionally be stable and able to help others the way I want to.


All the head and wall banging moments in my life are now beginning to make sense..is that was wisdom is? Why did that take half my life eeeks. I'm ready for the next half like you wouldn't believe!

If you take the time to evaluate why your about to eat something. .you'll find the healing and decision to make better choices all come together!

YOUR TRULY SINCERE voice is calling you to where you need to be, LISTEN!

NO SUGAR, WHAT????

NO SUGAR....WHAT?????

      I personally thought I wasn't really eating sugar, with just raw honey at the forefront of my cooking muffins, cookies , etc. . I thought I was doing great.

     Benefit of raw honey scan pages and pages, benefits of molasses can not be denied. I was eating well and the more healthy options of sweet I could find the more I would eat.

     Now mind you I don't use any processed sugars, flours, or any kind of packaged options at all. I make my own flours out of nuts, seeds and coconut mostly. I do make it though in my vitamix. I want to know it fresh and where it came from. 

   I buy honey straight from the honey farm whenever possible and I research and know my food and where it comes from as much as I can. Hopefully and mostly local if possible. There are always exceptions when you want specialty fruits ect.

I buy in bulk mostly because I make large amounts of everything so good food is readily available. 

http://www.foodmatters.tv/content/5-more-reasons-to-quit-sugar

Simple articles like this helped give me little daily boosts to remind me of the damage sugar can give your body.

http://iquitsugar.com/ books and places like this helped me as well. They spoke to my journey.

For me it wasn't that I was hooked on candy or processed sugars, but it was the fact that I craved it and I knew that was not a good sign. I also recognized that a spoonful of raw honey when I was upset did the trick, sometimes two spoonfuls and they were heaping I can guarantee that.

I also craved anything sweet after a meal. Did you know that if you eat something salty then sweet you will activate hunger again , even if your full?

This was something I did watch out for but I didn't want to , I wanted to be able to eat without craving it, without the need but to just get to a point IF I wanted it I could have it without it spiraling me into a constant desire to want more.

I evaluated the emotional ties and how I felt, I reflected on my life and how I acted different on sugar than off. This became the turning point for me.

My children even reminded me that I am crazy when I have sugar and they dread the thought of me eating it!

When it starts to affect more than you, get out of the selfish state and evaluate your journey!

1. Start the day with 20 oz of water!

2. Start the day with a food plan.

3. Start the day with 10 things your grateful for.

4. End your day with 10 things your grateful for.

I'll continue to elaborate on this journey daily!

QUITTING SUGAR and the emotional ties that binded me!

How time flys,

    I keep going and learning and in such leaps and bounds I am not getting it in my blog. My attempt to be more consistent with all areas of life is surely a balance I'm getting better at daily however it needs improvement in some areas.

    So I have been asked many times how I got off sugar, this is by far the hardest personal journey I have done while healing emotionally at the same time. But I figured it all ties together so I better get it right NOW or the excuses will continue.

   I bought a couple books that I thought looked easy to read and had a ton of pictures in it to follow,pretty foods and ideas I knew excited me . I needed the journey to be something exciting and I wanted a feeling at the end of this that screamed success.

   SO  without writing too much. Im going to list a few steps I took to get here.

1. Researched at my own pace , the mere thought of life without raw honey and fruit didnt really sit well with me at first. I made every excuse as a nutritionist why these items where certainly ok for me. They were healthy right?

2. I made a decision I was going to do this for 90 days and commit to a plan so I knew forsure I was successful and had a story to tell. I didn't want it to be for a day, I wanted it to be something that could be duplicated by others searching for wellness outside of sugar.

3. I studied new ways to cook, make cookies and surely know I had snacks around no matter what. I am a snacker so this was crucial information for me. I was still dealing with the emotional part as well as physical so I didn't want to over shock myself by not being able to grab food when I wanted it. That was too restrictive for me.

4. I started creating, without a total plan in action I got comfortable with the thought and recipes and so when the time came to make the big change I was ready and not frantic for choices. I added them in slowly with knowledge and passion for new things and new recipes.

5. I chose to go RAW 90% of the time with only simple exceptions like, cooking my squash and pancakes and sometimes cookies. That isn't often however I allowed for good choices with out going 100% raw and sugar free all at the same time. I just knew for me this was the direction I wanted to be. I MADE THE COMMITMENT, planned accordingly and went for it.

6. In my process to quit sugar I decided to mentally take note in the changes in my thoughts and anxiety level, my attitude and my gratitude. I wanted to see how sugar affected my thoughts and my patterns and how they changed how I did things automatically and without really working at it. How could sugar in my life affect these areas? I wanted to know exactly so it was very important to me I was mentally ready so that I could pay attention to this end of the journey.

7. Time to do it!


This is how I did it, I will continue to give you more details with food and books I read as I go.If you have any questions feel free to shoot them out at me.

Selective listening vs. hearing

Selective listening vs. hearing

    If you have children a spouse or have parents you have heard about selective hearing or listening, right?

    When your trying to get your children to listen and they are distracted by friends, phones, video games, TV, sports etc. often you must turn off what is distracting and ask for eye contact from them. We take away things so we can get there full attention, we demand eye contact and then when its their turn to talk we often don't give them the same demanded attention.

    Does this sound familiar?

    One of the things Zak and I talked about in the hospital was how he felt about his childhood and what I could have done different as a parent and what I can do now  to improve. The collective answer was," I wish I could have convinced you the first time I wanted to be heard." It seems it was a debate and took time to get me to listen and even longer to hear.

     I asked," do I do better now than when you were younger?" 

Zak expressed, "Yes mom you do." Your still very hard to convince, your mind is set on something and that's hard to get past. Your not as open minded to new things as I would like you to be. 

Hmmm.......................................taking time to really hear this and allow myself to learn.

      I thought about this a lot in the hospital. I asked my other children the same question and they all said the same thing. Your a strong woman with a strong mind and convincing you to look at another way isn't easy. We wanted you to hear our ideas the first time and instead we had to work hard to debate and convince you our way was worth looking at. They expressed I did eventually listen good but it took too long for me to HEAR.

      I had to look at myself good and hard and take these lessons to heart in many areas of my life. I learned in many situations to guard myself and guard what I heard for fear it would hold me back and instead I held myself back by not listening.

     I have spent many years learning to listen , then hear, putting together  information and letting it often sit and resignate inside until I had a solid perception. Often my first response inside was defense. Learning who I am and why I felt defensive was a learning process, much of it I learned in Life coaching and a ton of it I learned from my diehard children reminding me openly they wanted to be heard.

    I love to hear what people have to say now, I really stop to look them in they eye and hear the passion in their story.

 Put aside your own perception so you can see a different direction!

    

     

The Truth can hurt......

Seems in my last blog the abuser got word I am talking....

My intention is not to hurt anyone along this journey, my intention is to tell my story in hopes I can continue to heal the areas of my life I feel I need to and never could in fear of being hurt more.

There are far too many people in the world not able to talk and share, I hear it all the time. I want to speak out because  I have experienced  something many others are also experiencing and feel like they can't tell.

I went to a woman's shelter one night to volunteer time and get involved in healing areas of domestic violence. What I found out was that there are all kinds that experience abuse. There were corporate woman with no place to go , that ran to a shelter in another town to escape the madness they lived. They braved the waters and ran with nothing to their name. I met a man there as well that stood up for his kids and went to the shelter to escape the abuse he was experiencing from his wife.

This can happen to anyone. The hardest part of that journey was the mental abuse I endured. The sheer ability he had to tear my insides out with a few words and a look and stance I couldn't escape.

The life he lived behind closed doors was full of pornography and lies. I journaled all I could quietly, what he would say, how he responded and had to puzzle together what I could say next or not say. I was constantly afraid of the next out rage, out burst and body bump he would give me as he passed me by. He controlled all the finances we had, leaving me thinking we had none most of the time.

I know these are just some of the things that are familiar to domestic violence stories, what was very pivitol to me was that I had no idea what I was experiencing was abuse. I thought something was wrong with him that I could fix. Always second guessing every move I made, there was NOTHING I could do or say that was right.

 I wondered why we never had the same friends, he wouldn't engage with my family  or friends. He never introduced me to his friends and I was never around his family. Leaving him with only HIS STORY and I have never met anyone that could tell a lie as well as him. Except a drug addict that would do anything for the next hit. Was it drugs? noway he would do drugs so what was it?

His family verified to me he was always angry , always tearing things up and he had a history of domestic violence. Why did I not know this? how could he hide that for as long as he did without me knowing?

Domestic violence is real for both people, the abuser has to accept their actions in order to get better and the person experiencing the abuse has to understand how to get out and why they accepted such treatment.

I wanted better for both of us, there is no easy way to leave an abuser and there is never a day they just come clean and say I abused you and I want better. I am searching inside for why that happen to me, why I had such a hard time listening to friends tell me to get out and ones that actually gave me a ticket out in fear of my tomorrow.

I am searching for a way to help others find a way out and to collectively collaborate healing in a world so many never talk.

My children were my angels, they were my right hand , my right arm, my reminder and my purpose.

The only communication I got during my sons journey with cancer was how I abandoned him and my life. You can imagine the rest of the conversation. I had no words, there was NO WORDS, I chose my son and that was final. I never looked back again, my son taught me there was nothing in life worth that treatment. Life is precious and every moment counts, with nothing to my name I never looked back , and have been on a journey of healing every since.

This is for me to heal and to help others that experienced the same end of abuse I did, to heal and never look back and make the same mistake again. To recognize your worth and to know there isn't anything you can do for them, only for you.

Getting in the game!

Get IN THE GAME and speak OUT!

If I don't speak out then I never move forward, I know darn well there are others suffering my same story and others that have no idea what to do next and others that have endured, recovered, succeeded and love again!

Pressure to know , to do, why, how, when , where, more , now!!!!

Please STOP the madness...

This is what is happening after a few years of extreme situations, a whirlwind of trauma and hardships. Never losing hope but somehow at the end I have lost some of my memory and direction. Still smiling, still driven, still energetic and healthy. These are important things right?

I haven't shared much about my personal life in the last 3 years in detail other than Zak's cancer journey. But before Zak's journey , I was also experiencing extreme domestic violence  behind closed doors and a child who struggles with a drug addiction. In that journey  my dream home was purchased to remodel.

Short version!

What most people unless close to me don't know is that , the plan was to remodel immediately. We had purchased already most of what we needed to add the necessities, stove, oven, sink , etc. and we would be doing one room at a time.

It left myself and my youngest daughter living in a trailer in the backyard in between the chaos of a gutted house ( no water, heat and or bathroom ) and my gym in a separate building that was my sanctuary of life, friends, clients, and laughter. Nothing was moving forward except the sheer mental and verbal abuse I was enduring, the blame , the shattering and shuttering of broken glass, suicide attempts and madness that he classified as normal or denied all together telling me I was the crazy one. I endured it long enough I started to question every word and action I made, finally making sure I had a witness to it all, never being alone or in a private space was going to be the only way to come out of this ,

 IN short that story ended in divorce, restraining orders, threats, blame and madness. I left my house, and anything that went with it. I gave away most of what I owned and let go of what could of been and realized what was.  NO ONE is exempt from the possibility of abuse in some form, I never thought in a million years as a strong woman I would ever get caught in something like that. If I don't speak up and speak out I can never fully move forward. I am done hiding for fear of what they will do next.

When Zak's journey began he was a pivitol part of saving  my life as well as me being a part of saving his life. There was NO options for me as a mother but to leave my life behind to be with my son and that's what I did.

During that journey with Zak , I was informed from one of my children that she was addicted to a very bad drug and didn't want to tell me. I had finally asked because it started to become obvious. She admitted ,confessed and shattered me with more than I could take. Leaving me hyperventilating on the floor and unable to grasp the next journey with another child at the same time I was saving another. This meant not just one child it meant two children and a grandchild I needed to speak up for. One never over estimates the impact the entire family will take.

She asked me to take her child so she could get help, go to rehab or whatever it took to be a mom again. She asked me to do my mom thing and teach and take care of her for her while she was gone. I did that! She packed up her child in my car and sent her away with me trusting I would do all I could to keep her safe and I DID!

As I had her I found out the father of my grandchild was a dealer , guns drugs and you name it where involved. Even his mother, an innocent preschool teacher was part of all of this. Fights, drugs deals, devestation around my grandchild I had no idea about.

I took action into my own hands , I called domestic violence hotlines, attorneys, you name it, police and more. I filed for emergency custody of my grandchild and received restraining orders and all i needed to keep her from harms way. I  was then drug through the nastiest fight of my life with my own child. She accused me of more than I could even comprehend, threatened my life and disowned me for good. Honestly that pain was no where near the pain I know my grand daughter was going to have to endure with drug addict parents. I needed to be the voice of this child and I DID.

There is so much more, however  the foot work to save this child and also have her with me 24/7 for three months straight while doing this and making sure Zak got to his appt.s and had the best care and my other children and grandchildren where not left out was no easy task.

 THIS IS WHAT THE SYSTEM( state of washington) told me. This case will cost me somewhere between $100,000 and higher and there is nothing illegal about a drug addict raising a child.

 ARE YOU F...... kidding me?

I was forced to hand over my granddaughter and know I'd never see her again. The day she left my daughter had her friend grab her ,grab all her things and took her as if it was a small visit. My grand daughter had no idea her mother would never let her back into my arms again.

I'm ready to move forward in my life , Im ready to let go of what was, to allow what can be and what is good and well and amazing. I am ready and have been working hard to create a safe place for dreams to occur, for believing to be real and to let go of survival and to thrive in life.

I let go and continue to daily, to let go of guilt, of what did I do and what could I have done different. There is nothing.. I did ALL I could in all situations, I could do no more, I let go knowing there is not a rock unturned!

I reached out to friends, I called all the right places, I took all the right steps, I went to the therapy sessions to detach from the abuse to make the moves I needed to , to learn that an adult child is exactly that, an adult and you can't fix, you simply LOVE and when LOVE is not enough you simply rely on what is and not what WAS!

Another day of letting go and pushing to new limits and letting others that may be experiencing some of the same things know, a storm is simply that, and very temporary if you allow it to be!

It's been awhile since I wrote you!

WOW how time flies........................

I use a ton of exclamations and often punctuation most look at and wonder if I passed English and yes I did.
SO I'll warn you know I write as I think and if you don't know me you'll get to know me through my punctuation!

I haven't written you in awhile, I wish I could put the last few months in a short sentence for you. Since that doesn't seem possible at this point I'll carry on from today with some highlights of memories that may help fill in some gaps.

Today was a day I made an appointment to stretch my possibilities in fitness, not unlike most of my life , however the lapse in my life in the last year or more has thrown me into a spiral of the unknown. Reeling myself through a hurricane of happenings I keep challenging myself to new heights.

When tradgedy hits your life the spin your body takes is really often one you must let go of in a strange way so that you may fall where your meant to be . I found that fighting it took more energy physically and left my emotional and spiritual state with nothing left to feed off of. I let the hurricane toss and tumble me as if I was getting eaten by a bear. I was taught you drop and play dead to survive.

I did exactly that for a bit so that I could survive the hurricane. I planted my inner core tight and allowed my outer body to take the tumbles praying that when I landed the core would be strong enough to then support the outer bodies healing as well as the inner.

I have challenged myself to deep water swims(a lifetime of fear of deep water), I have taken a spin class that was so repetitious for two months straight that I could keep moving while allowing my mind to start working again. Like a push start up a hill. I loved the people that brought me back, I loved the routine , it gave me a consistent goal to wake up to. I did it until I knew I knew it was time to move on.

Emotionally I have gone through a workout I could of never explained was possible at the same time experiencing watching my children go through theirs. That's what a mother does , right?  

Every time I push beyond what I think I can do today, I see my son fighting for his life with only the best outcome in sight.

Every time I push beyond what I think I can do today , I see my children's vulnerable childhood in my hands and know there is and was NOTHING I wouldn't do for them, and the most important lesson for me in that 29 years of raising children is, if I don't take care of me , they carry a burden of my carelessness.

Every time I push beyond what I think I can do today, I add to the legacy of possibilities in health and wellness for a lifetime not just today.

Every time I push beyond what I think I can do today, I remember my life impacts others and I want the best impact possible. Love, laugh, live, rest, eat, pray and believe that every moment up or down has a purpose in the long term not always the short term, so keep on your journey to new things, new ideas, possibilities and act on it , there is never a better time than when you think about it to actually start doing it.

Love , a Mother of 4 Warriors all with different journeys but all with one mom, THAT'S ME!

HOLY MOLY TIME FLYS

It is March , YIKES, I will attempt to catch up this month for April's newsletter.

These are highlights of the last few months I couldn't get my thoughts on paper.

Zaks transplant was December 13,2013. Cheyenne rocked out some awesome cells for Zak and he was given the gift of life. Thank you angel Child Cheyenne.

I spent every single day with Zak in the hospital , we watched every movie on Netflix and got hooked on a series that had 8 seasons. Oh my what a journey that was. Sitting on my butt watching movies and TV , Zak would sleep here and there but mostly he would look over at me and say ," MOM you awake still?"

I left the hospital daily at about 2 am sometimes later sometimes a little earlier, usually after our decision to stop the series because it was always so good there was never a good time to stop.

I would walk to the parking lot and run the parking lot now and then just to stretch, jump in my car, head to my room and Pass out, to get up a few hours later and do it again.

Zak and I shared many many talks I share with you along the way. I learned a lot about my son and he told me a lot about what kind of mom I am and had been his whole life. Most good but in his tough exterior ways he cant be too sweet to me, it wouldn't be tough.

We all hold a sort of tough exterior and my kids all have it, each one of them are so sweet in their own rights ,they will not tell you that though, don't mess with them or what they love or you will bite of more than you can chew.

Zak had a virus that kept him in isolation the entire time he was in the hospital, so being locked up he calls it in his room for so long left me no choice but to fight for his freedom. I saw him going down hill emotionally, getting depressed and needing air. This was not the life he was born to have, So we together made a plan of action.

Everyday we had goals, he met them, and I gave them to the Drs. every morning on rounds. They would evaluate and then listen to my plea, sometimes add some things to the list and we conquered them together so he could get some time out. A green card so to say, a 4 hour pass to home a day. We got it. That one thing took him leaps and bounds in health. All this will be caught up I promise in future blogs as I go. Too much to read or write all at once.

Zak was released in my care with a grocery bag of pill and  a list of TO DO's.

We together conquered them ALL, IV pumps at night, pills 4 to 5 times a day. Hickman port cleaning, Lines to flush, apps to go to daily . With weight to gain and strength to gain we had our work cut out. For us both!

A partnership of Mother and SON to create the health he was meant to have and a future brighter than the sun.

This boy is a music lover, he NEVER Stopped working the entire time he was sick, days and nights, he wrote, he created beats on his beat machine. He put his music on social media, every music site he new of. He had a magazine interview and shortly after he got the call.............................. I will fill you in ........................ watch for details.

As of today he is WAY ABOVE any transplant patient they have EVER SEEN IN SCCA HISTORY!!! LITERALLY!! more details to come.........................................