Im going to try this by my phone, since I'm in ICU with Zak today.

The day started I waited till 11 am this morning to call Zak so he could sleep
without his phone going off with worry. He didnt answer
so I text him "R U OK?" He text me back, that I needed to call the nurse
for meds. I called the nurse .. left a message. I called the Hemo dept
Numerous times and no one could figure out where to send me.

I finally hung up in frustration called Zak back to hear his voice
and new immediately he needed to be in the hospital. I am in Seattle and his
dad was near Zaks apt so he ran and got him and I drove straight
here and made the ER aware he was on his way.

I waited with my prayers for him to arrive ,, he needed a wheelchair
to get in the hospital and looked white as a ghost, his fever
had sky rocketed to 104.5 ,,,, holy sh.... panic sets in its
the first time we have had complications like this and I can hardly breath.

What does this mean for Zak as I see 10-15 people on a team effort
trying to stabilize my boy( my heart). Heart rate fell,hes headed
into a sepsis journey.. med.s are stabalizing his heart, fluids are keeping him hydrated,
He has every tube it seems in the hospital attached to him, everyone is frantically working to
take care of every angle possible.

I haven't eaten all day and it wasn't until now I realized
I also left my morning tea in the microwave before I left.
I packed my food for the day quickly as I always do.. grabbed my shakes
and stress herbs and all my vitamins and water.

I walked out if the house without any of it. Its 7 pm and I'm getting
a headache and I need water . I feel like I can't move from this spot.

I'm watching his heart rate as if no one else is.. I know hes in the best hands
ever and he has a full-time nurse to himself here in ICU monitoring every detail.

My tongue is stuck to the roof of my mouth and my lips are
frozen shut, my  teeth hurt from clenching I didn't realize
I was doing until now.

The nurse is standing in front of me watching zaks heart rate as the cuff
grabs him tight.. she finally says this is the first time I don't have to raise
the heart rate medication and Zak awakens and says" how long do I have
to be on the heart rate meds?"

He cant eat or drink a thing and is so thirsty.. he asked
for chapstick... that's my boy , anyone that knows us knows
we all have something for our lips in every pocket. Hes at least speaking now
that's good sign to me.

First visit to ICU yikes .... a baby in every room down every hall,
Its unreal the heart ache around here. Its a world I never realized
and never thought possible my child would be one of them.

Grown up with faith, health and fitness as his life ,what a fortunate foundation
he had for this time in his life.. I'm so glad I stuck to the healthy life
and raised them with knowledge of that.